A Permanent Smile

So you know that other reason that I was maybe going to share -- maybe! -- as far as why the C-section is a pretty good choice for me?

Well.  Here it is!

Chris was just hired at an awesome new job.  Better than awesome.  Excellent.  It is everything we have been praying for since Chris lost his job in August 2010.  I've been bursting at the seams with excitement (and some anxiety that such great news was too good to be true) since last week when he got the verbal offer and today, the written offer came in.  

The biggest news -- a 30% increase in salary!  Hello, accelerated debt repayment, which means we can move back out on our own sooner while still meeting our financial goals.  More vacation time.  More growth potential.  And the medical benefits can only be described as out of this world.  I’ll be having a C-section -- surgery, more anesthesia, longer hospital stay -- but our portion of the bill will still be less than 10% of what we paid when I had Averie!   

Even when Chris got hired at StorageCraft, it didn’t feel like the job.  I tried to convince myself that it was, and that those niggling thoughts about all its imperfections were just residual disappointment from other, admittedly better, jobs not panning out.  But really, I think I knew all along it was just a stop-gap because we literally could not go on any longer without some sort of income. 

There is just no denying that this is THE job.   

For so long, I have felt like we weren’t living our lives.  We were just surviving.  Just had to get through another day…another week.  It has been difficult to keep our heads up and put on a happy face when I felt surrounded by only disappointment, but I see so many good things on the horizon for us now.  Financial stability.  No anguish over how to pay for medical treatments for my MS.  A career -- not just a job! -- for Chris.  A home of our own.  No longer wallowing in depression.   

Averie -- and our new baby boy we will be welcoming soon -- deserve better and more than what we have been giving.  I am nearly weeping with joy over finally feeling able to give Averie back the parents she had before our life went into this downward spiral.

I dare you to try to wipe this smile off my face.

HA, I'm so hyped up that I forgot to say HOW this even relates to the C-section *slaps forehead*.  Chris will be in mandatory training for several weeks and it's unlikely (OK, pretty much impossible) that he'll be able to take as much time off as we had originally planned, so it's better that we know the exact how, when and where of delivery so he can make arrangements with his new employer :).

Monster Baby! -- Maybe

No, our little guy isn’t really a monster, but he is shaping up to be a little linebacker! 

I had an ultrasound done today as a follow-up to my 20-week ultrasound and in the meantime, we found out that our baby boy is breech.  100%, not even close to being head down.  He is sitting up perfectly straight with his head in my ribs, and all those pokey movements that I thought were feet were actually me getting the ol’ 1-2 punch by his little fists instead!

Additionally, he is measuring as far ahead as five weeks, with his head clocking in at the same size as an average 39-weeker, when I’m just over 34 weeks along.  His torso is in the 37-week range and his femurs (thigh bones) are measuring at over 36 weeks.  My fundal height is also coming in at 39 weeks, despite lower than average weight gain thus far, so it’s safe to say that our little guy might not be so little after all! 

I’ve been experiencing a great deal of anxiety over the impending delivery, especially the how and the when.  Specifically, "how am I going to do this again?"  My labor with Averie was over 18 hours and I was flat-out exhausted by the end.  Now, with the MS and its accompanying extreme fatigue to contend with, I wondered if I COULD do another labor like that, physically.  And of course there’s always a question about the when, but for many reasons (that I’m not ready to share, sorry!  Maybe later…maybe :P), I was anxious about the unknown.

As soon as I saw these longer- and larger-than-average measurements, I was immediately nervous.  Averie always measured right on track, never ahead, she was just over 8 pounds at birth, and I had a very difficult delivery. Though I’m not a small person on the outside, apparently I am on the inside!   So if this one was measuring so far ahead, how much more difficult would the delivery be?

As I waited for the doctor to come in to discuss how we would proceed, I couldn’t shake the thought of a C-section.  It felt like it would be a relief.  And I, the biggest wimp who ever was, was not even worried about the recovery.  That’s sayin’ something!  Maybe it’s because recovery after Averie was no walk in the park either – I felt that I would be trading extreme discomfort in one area for extreme discomfort in another, so it was lose-lose.  Or win-win.  Whatever :D.  So we talked with the doctor extensively about the C-section and for all the reasons I mentioned, plus my medical history, my OB agreed that it was a good choice for me.

And with that, I was on the schedule :-).

I feel as if a huge weight had been lifted and all the anxiety has just faded away.  With so many uncertainties in life, it is an amazing relief to feel that you are making the best possible choice.  I have no doubts that this is the right decision, and Chris and I can’t wait to meet our son! 

Lucky

I actually stole the inspiration for the title of this post from a friend, but it is fitting and reminded me of how much I love this song.

Chris is many things, not the least of which is a devoted husband and father.  Some may call today a Hallmark holiday, but it is still nice to take a moment from the everyday stresses of life and celebrate our love and marriage. 

I am lucky to have found him; lucky to have everything a girl could ever want in the man in her life.  I can only hope Averie and our other yet-to-be-born children are as blessed as I am one day.  

I love you, Chris.  Happy Valentine's Day! 

One Year Older...

In theory, I should be wiser, too, but for those of you out there familiar with "pregnancy brain", I'm just happy I can still remember how to tie my shoes ;-).  

So I turned the big 2-8 on the 1st.  It was mostly uneventful, by choice.  Chris is saving all his vacation time for when our little boy arrives, so he didn't take the day off as he usually does, but Averie did sleep in and take a nice, long afternoon nap, which I know is one of the greatest gifts of all!

We normally go to one of our special-occasion restaurants, but I could not fathom paying that much when I might only be able eat a few bites!  Apparently, my babies like to take advantage of my height and stay burrowed inside, occupying 90% of my abdominal space, rather than grow OUT.  It makes eating, breathing and incubating all at the same time a little difficult ;-).  I learned that lesson with Averie (with whom I was 34 weeks pregnant on our anniversary that year).   

I had been battling an Olive Garden salad craving for weeks though, so there we went.  It was also delicious, and I took a raincheck for a dinner at one of our fancier places, to be redeemed after this baby is on the outside. 

Yesterday, we celebrated with the remainder of my family.  Chris made one of my favorites -- pineapple-teriyaki chicken on the grill, in 30-degree weather, even! -- and surprised me with a cake from my favorite bakery, Kneaders.  It was fantastic and I was grateful to have a cooperative baby who allowed me to eat my fill!

I was thoroughly spoiled in the gift department as well.  Chris bought me the Cuisinart Griddler I've been eying for months, a new case for my Nook, a book of panini recipes to try out on the new griddle and a season of Glee on DVD.  My parents/siblings gave me the waffle plates to go with the griddle (now I can make Belgians!) and a season of Grey's Anatomy on DVD, one of my favorite shows!  Now if only I could get some free time for those shows......

Last, a small pregnancy update.  I passed my gestational diabetes test with flying colors so my #1 craving -- Dr. Pepper -- is safe!  We will be scheduling a follow-up ultrasound after my next appointment in 2 weeks to check on Baby Boy's kidneys, which were slightly dilated at the 20-week ultrasound (apparently, a common issue in boys).  And, miracle of miracles, I finally took a picture!  This was 3 days before my birthday, just about 29 weeks.  Please enjoy the faucet and (clean!) countertop in the foreground :-D.

Does Lightning Strike Twice?

I don’t write this post to be boastful; it’s just something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately, especially as we prepare for baby #2.

I think that Chris and I probably hit the baby jackpot with Averie. 

She was a great eater – didn’t care where it came from; if it was food, she was good.  

  

Her only health problem as an infant was a bout of bad jaundice, which is pretty common, and we got through that. 

  

She slept through the night when she was two weeks old, and before that, slept 4 to 5 hours at a stretch.  She took marathon naps in the day – regularly 3 to 4 hours as a newborn – and still slept at night.

  

She met all her developmental milestones on time, if not early.  The only one we’re behind on is speech, and even then, we’re starting to see some big improvement.

  

When I decided to stop nursing and weaned her at 9 months, she went right to formula with no difficult transition period.  

  

We were done with bottles before 1 year.  

  

She almost never gets sick.  There’s been plenty of times that I thought she had an ear infection (thank you, otoscope, for saving us all those trips to the pediatrician!), but she’s only actually had one and a cold in two years.

  

She is so independent!  I’ve noticed this particularly over the last 4 weeks as I’ve been battling the sinus-infection-that-wouldn’t-die.  She can almost dress herself completely (some of her shoes require a little adult help), she feeds herself, shampoos her own hair in the shower, and helps put away her toys.  And as much as I love playing with her, I love watching her play by herself just as much.  She is so imaginative!      

  

As a 2-year-old, of course there are days that she makes me want to pull my hair out.  But generally?  I don’t think we could have gotten any luckier if we tried. 

  

I just wonder if we’ll be so fortunate with our little boy.  Will he be a perfect sleeper, too?  A great eater?  I'll admit I'm especially crossing my fingers for another good sleeper -- Averie has certainly spoiled Chris and me.  Will he struggle with development?  Will he have major health problems?  I hope not, of course.  I do kind of think that there's just no way two parents can get this lucky more than once and that makes me a little nervous for the future, but we'll see!

  

We’re less than 3 months away from D-Day now – let’s hope he is more punctual than his big sister! ;-)

Pregnancy Post: This Kid is Gonna Kill Me

It could be amnesia but I’m quite certain my pregnancy with Averie was NEVER this difficult.  The discomforts were mild and didn’t last long.  Maybe it’s because I was working at the time and it kept me from dwelling on things too much. 

But this little guy is really putting me through the wringer.  Splitting headaches.  All-day sickness that lasted into the second trimester.  Placenta previa.  SPD pain.  And now – heartburn.  Oh gosh, the heartburn.  It makes swallowing difficult, keeps me up at night, and makes me nauseous.  I’ve never had heartburn before – ever! – so maybe it’s not even THAT bad by normal people’s standards, but this is downright miserable.  I wonder if the old wives’ tale will hold true and he’ll come out with a full head of hair :P.

OK, venting aside, I’m honestly in good spirits and feeling fine the majority of the time.  This cold/sinus and lung infection/whatever it is knocked me flat on my back and it seems it’s been one thing after another.  However, after two rounds of antibiotics, I am on the mend and am looking forward to having energy again!

I’m just over 26 weeks now and at my last appointment (2 weeks ago), I was at a net loss of 3 pounds!  Since I could’ve stood to lose a few (or more) before I even got pregnant, I’m happy about that, since our baby boy is still growing right on track.  As long as I don’t go on a junk-food binge, I should walk out of the hospital weighing less than when I started which makes me a happy girl. 

The gestational diabetes test is in about two weeks.  I didn’t have GD with Averie, but – silly as it may be – when I was clipping my coupons on Sunday, I clipped the ones for the blood glucose meter and test strips…just in case.  Hopefully I won’t need it though! 

I am starting to get the nesting urge, but there’s not as much to do here as there was when we were at our own place.  Maybe that’s good since I’m so exhausted :P.  This guy isn’t getting the luxury, tricked-out nursery treatment that Averie did and even though I know that was more for Chris and me (I DID love decorating that room), I know he won’t care as long as he has a comfy place to sleep. 

We’ve got his car seat, bottles, all the baby gear, and even a stash of clothes and diapers to start us off.  We have just about 3 months to go, but I can’t help but feel ready for him now!

Happy New Year!

Martinelli's, of course ;-).

I've never been more ready for a new year and a new start!  2012 is going to be great for us.

A Mostly Merry Christmas!

I figured if I wanted to get this post up, it would have to be without the pictures or else it might be 2012 before it gets done!  I promise a separate picture post later.

It was a good Christmas for us this year, especially compared to last year's.  Well, last year's was just unbelievable thanks to the generosity of others but it was filled with a lot of dread and uncertainty as Chris was unemployed.  This year, he is employed with a great company that he loves and we are getting back on track financially.  ANYWAY, I digress :).

We celebrated with Chris' family on Saturday with breakfast and a gift exchange.  Sadly, I was in the throes of a sinus and lung infection so it wasn't much of a party for me, but it was great to see everyone again (especially since we had missed them at Thanksgiving as Chris was in the hospital recovering from surgery).  

Sunday was Christmas Day.  I have to say I'm glad that Averie still doesn't quite comprehend Santa so she slept until her normal time (a little bit later, actually) instead of the dreaded 5 AM wake-up call for presents that I remember from my own childhood :-).  

To say Averie is one spoiled little girl would be an understatement!  Santa had a shiny new play kitchen (that his elves spent 3 hours the night before assembling *yawn*) and play food waiting for her when she woke up.  She has really gotten into pretend play involving eating and feeding her dolls and stuffed animals and it was a big hit.  

We all got ready for church where we enjoyed a beautiful musical program.  It was a wonderful way to celebrate the season and think about what Christmas is really all about.  You do get one picture this time, because it was only taken with a cell phone!  

Averie looked gorgeous -- as usual ;-) -- in her floofy Christmas dress

After church (and nap), it was time for presents!  We thought we would be smart and save all of Averie's gifts for the end so that she could just tear into the paper, one after another.  Except she was more interested in playing with each toy that she unwrapped, so the video of her gift-opening is quite long (don't worry -- we won't bore you with it ;-)).  By the time we reached present #15, she had had enough and Chris opened the rest of her gifts for her.

She got more play food for her kitchen, some other Melissa and Doug toys (pattern blocks, puzzles and lacing beads), books, even more play food and kitchen-related toys and the hit of the evening: Let's Rock Elmo.  Heaven help us, but she LOVES that thing.  It's not too annoying...yet.

Chris and Averie gave me a handheld video camera (a Flip) so I can catch all those cute moments without bringing out the more expensive and fragile camcorder, and a Wacom tablet!  I had asked Chris for Photoshop since I'm getting into using my DSLR more, but he really went above and beyond, and the tablet comes with Photoshop so what a bonus!  Chris got a digital picture frame for his desk and the extended edition Lord of the Rings trilogy on Blu-Ray.  

All in all, a long, great, difficult, happy year.  I am excited for what 2012 will bring us.

Averie Mish-Mash

There have been a bunch of little things happening over the last couple months but nothing really deserving of its own post and so we have: mish-mash. 

Averie seems to be talking more lately.  It makes me feel like we’re on the edge of a breakthrough!  We still need to have her re-evaluated by the early intervention place so we can get her enrolled in some speech therapy and I think that will really help her take off.  However, she does say “boom” (random, but so cute!), “neh” (no) and when she wants some of what you’re eating, she will come up with a pitiful look on her face and say “num num?” 

She can point out all the zoo, farm and house animals (dog, cat, etc.) in her books when we ask for them by name.  

She recognizes quite a few letters by sight (and can pick them out when asked, like the animals) and we are working on numbers and colors now. 

She loves to sing!  Of course her singing is just with babble like “ba” and “la”, but she keeps to the tune.  She also loves her xylophone, keyboard and sitting at the big piano with Daddy.

I think her favorite toy in the world is the trampoline she got for her birthday (thanks, Grandma and Grandpa!).  She could bounce for hours and -- bonus! -- it gets out some of that excess 2-year-old energy!  

We took her to the Little Gym in Orem for some classes I bought on a discount through Groupon.  She LOVED them and is quite the little gymnast, so we will be signing her up after the holidays.  Another good way to expend some of that energy!

She knows how to pray -- folds her arms, bows her head (and stays quiet!) during prayers.   

She has been in her toddler bed for a month now and doing fantastic!  Once we made it through those first five days, she started going down just as easily as she ever did and is staying in her bed until her previous, normal wake time, as well as taking a full nap in bed.  

She LOVES taking care of her baby doll.  She’s had it for several months and always enjoyed playing with it, but her play with it is expanding – she feeds it baby food now, rocks it then lays it down to sleep and takes it for trips around the house in her doll stroller.  I think she is going to be a good little helper in a few months :-). 

As our time with just Averie winds down, I am a little sad at the idea of not having as much time together, just the two of us.  Yesterday, I had a quiet moment to just watch her play and be her silly self, then we had a babbly conversation together and she went from me to Chris to me again for cuddles all day long.  It was the perfect day.  Then I think of how much I love Averie and how much I'll love (how much I DO love) our baby boy and I think it can't get much better than having two sweet little ones. 

A Lump in the Road

I was waiting to post about this until it was totally resolved, one way or the other.

Several weeks ago, Chris noticed a lump in his neck.  It was painful when he pushed on it and it was starting to affect him in other ways -- headaches, restricting his breathing, etc.  It was getting worse over the weekend so we made a trip to the ER.  There, they performed an ultrasound and discovered a mass on his thyroid.  The ER doctor said it might be nothing or it might be, well, something.  Something like cancer.  Of course my brain totally tuned out about 90% of masses being benign; all I could think about was that other 10%.

Talk about a punch in the gut.  This past year hasn't exactly been an easy one for us and at that moment, it was just another straw on an already broken back.

More tests (some of them terribly painful, like the needle biopsy) and a referral to an ENT later...  The doctor said it "looked" benign, but he couldn't say for sure so we would monitor it and re-evaluate after 6 months.  

This was not what we wanted to hear.  At this point, even something as simple as sneezing was excruciatingly painful for Chris.  The size of the mass (4 cm) was just at the threshold where they would remove the affected part of the thyroid, even if it's not cancerous, and after hearing how it was affecting his daily life, the doctor agreed to do surgery.  

Chris had a partial thyroidectomy on the day before Thanksgiving.  Happy holidays, right? ;-)  After 3 1/2 hours in the O.R., the doctor came out and said they still thought it was benign, but they couldn't be 100% sure because it had "cancerous looks."  They had closed him up for the time being and the pathologist would run some more in-depth tests.  If it came back cancerous, Chris would have another surgery to remove the other half of his thyroid.  

We just received the test results and the mass is DEFINITELY benign!

What a relief!  I just don't think either of us could have handled hearing "the C word."  Chris is healing up wonderfully and looks forward to sneezing without pain soon :-).