After 10 months of unemployment, our savings was wiped out, and we were in deep, deep credit card debt. The total was so much higher than I thought it would be, once I added it all up, but hey, 10 months without a regular paycheck or unemployment benefits will do that to you. I’m just glad that we had the resources SOMEWHERE so we could keep living!
My parents had offered to let us move in right after Chris lost his job, but we kept hanging on because we really did not want to turn to that option. Chris and I had done it once before when we were first married, and there was such conflict that our marriage almost didn’t survive it. Moving out was the best thing we ever did.
But this time around, we recognized that in our current situation, it could take us, literally, years and years to get back to where we were before the unemployment. We had to acknowledge that maybe the best thing to do would be to take them up on their offer. After assurances that things would be different than last time, we took the plunge when our lease ended last month.
Sadly, things have not been any different. I was truly hopeful that they would be but Chris’ and my relationship with my family continues to grow more strained, and we’ll plan to move out sooner than we would have if boundaries and basic considerations had been respected from the get-go. It will mean it takes longer to get back on our feet, it will mean taking longer to meet all our financial goals, it will mean uprooting ourselves again too soon after a move that was stressful in the first place. But all those things are better than the alternative.
It was very generous of my parents to finish their basement for us – it is beautiful, really, and we have more living space than before – and I am and will be eternally grateful for that. Unfortunately, a beautiful house is not synonymous with a happy house, when there is discontent as there is now.
I don’t think I will ever stop calling Garden Park home. When I’m in Orem for school, it feels like I should just drive up the hill to get home, not get on the freeway. We made wonderfully close friends there that I hope we will keep forever. It was the first and only home Averie ever knew. It was actually the first place that ever felt like home to us.
I hope we can find our next home soon.
1 comment:
Meghan, I can relate to some extent. We've been living with my husband's parents since December 09'...yeah that's a LONG time. Being in school sucks, but it saves us a ton of money by living with them. I am so grateful that they are so generous, and generally give us the space we need (though the first year this didn't ring true always) but it still doesn't mean it's going to be easy. This last summer we moved away for an internship and this weight was lifted from me. My Mom and best friend noticed it over the phone. I just seemed so much happier. Then when we came back my friend said to me, I don't like AZ Shante. Haha. I'm just grumpy here I guess. Plus I gained 25 pounds the first year we moved in...affected me emotionally and physically. Having come back from the summer I'm trying so hard to have a different attitude, but I find myself getting angry a lot which totally isn't me. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. It's hard. The worst part is feeling guilty for not wanting to do it. That's my biggest problem. I just feel ungrateful. I hope everything works out for you and your family. Make sure you guys do things separately as a family, such as fhe, and seriously try and go out on a date once a week with your husband. Take advantage of the free babysitting :) These are the things that keep me sane :)
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